MY FIRST PAY CHEQUE!

yes! as the title states, today was my payday! yay! but please don’t be like some of my friends (cough cough) and qiao za me for free lunch/dinner treat or bubble tea okay. i’m still very poor and i’m living off my OWN money now. no more allowance from my parents AT ALL. (food, clothes, transport etc.) plus, after giving my parents money as promised, i’m left with a miserable sum. lol. so right now i’m looking for one more job, part time, over the weekend. sigh… there goes my mini holiday.. BUT NEVER MIND!  i really want to gain more experience and most importantly, earn moneyyyy! LOL.

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and i just realized that maybe my sis and maid was right. my face can be quite QIAN BIAN at times lol. below’s picture is a damn good example LOLS.

there is more things to do at work now. not only picking up of calls but emails from customers. i’m damn scared of emails now, seriously. SO MANY FRICKIN EMAILS TO SETTLE i see already damn sian… initially, i was still consoling my colleague/supervisor when she was complaining about the emails. but after awhile, SHE was the one consoling me LOL!

anyway, it’s a SATURDAY and i’m home. i’m starting to believe that my life revolves around work, home and driving. maybe i’ve lost my social life. not like i ever had one lol. last time in secondary school, it was always about swim training. after school my mom would pick me up immediately and i would head to ssc for training. it was a continuous cycle almost everyday LOL. i think my 2 years in tjc was the most happening time LOLS! but i don’t regret anything la. only not studying and training hard enough haha!

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and am i REALLY that tan now? just a few days ago, i had a new driving instructor and the first thing he asked when he saw me was, “why are you so tan ah?”. then two days ago, i saw justin from tjc and he also asked why am i so tan now. then i saw my primary schoolmate at kembangan mrt on monday and she also mentioned that i’m very tan now. it’s weird because i barely swim now LOL. but i don’t understand why everyone wants to be fair. i don’t think it makes a difference. if you’re handsome/pretty, i don’t think the skin tone colour actually matters lol.

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anyway my driving instructor was damn hilarious. everytime i speed a bit, he will touch his heart and say, “pls la don’t drive so fast i very old already my heart cannot take it”. super drama la i only went up to 70km/hr and his reaction made it seem like i was driving at 100km/hr LOL! and he suggested that i buy sports car after i get my license cos of the way i drive. (im not a reckless driver btw! its probably the way i handle the car.)

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half of my mini holiday is gone!

you mean something to me.

i put up an advertisment of myself on the internet (won’t mention where it is, a little shy lol)to be a swimming coach and i actually got 100+ visitors LOL. and a lady actually wants to learn swimming from me, offering to pay around 30/hr?! and the thing is, i don’t even have a coaching cert lol. so i want to accept but i’m a little apprehensive about it..

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i’m getting used to the office working life. the alarm which goes off at 8am, the dressing up and getting ready, the rushing through traffic lights to make it to work on time, the squeezy train rides, the long hours of staring into the computer, the lunch breaks with colleagues etc etc. it sounds simple and easy.but lately I feel quite demoralized from work. sigh. working isn’t as easy and simple as i thought it would be. but whatever it is, i just want to do a good job of whatever is required of me. my sis is doing damn well in ocbc bank, way ahead of her colleagues (she claims lol)

and i really need some chinese speaking classes. today i had a few customers who were chinese-speaking, i sounded like a COMPLETE noob. i finally understand why i almost failed my chinese A level oral, i couldn’t even read the word 泰国. sigh..

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It’s amazing the things you realize when you lose someone. You get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could have said a million times. You take for granted the days you spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken, at any point in our lives, but we always wait until they’re gone to say the things we never had the courage to say.”

this was taken from chelsia’s blog. this is so so true. it sucks when you can only point the finger to yourself and nobody else. i may have damn alot of pride (according to my family. something i have to change) but this time, i have to admit that i brought this upon myself.

there are some things we choose not to think because it is just too much for us to handle emotionally.
there are some words we choose to listen because it makes our heart feel at ease.
there are some things we choose to see because it brings us the comfort we seek.

sometimes i really don’t know how much to let go, how much to hold on.
maybe all i need is a chance.
apparently my busy schedule didn’t make me forget.

my first week of work!

finally the weekends have arrived! my first week of work was all right, quite fun. lol, and yeah i’m currently working at raffles city hivelocity. lol. i’m basically in customer service for adidas sundown marathon.so i answer calls from customers and some of them can be quite nasty over the phone! but luckily i’ve a high tolerance threshold LOL. my colleagues there are really nice too! treat lunch, never scold me when i make silly mistakes, friendly etc. so yay! but the only bad thing is that every morning i’ve to literally SQUEEZE into the mrt cos its super crowded with all the working people. lol.  and i made new friends!:)

and it is so true that money isn’t easy to earn. i can easily fall asleep before 12am nowadays cos by the time i reach home i’m so damn tired and sleepy. i regret spending $188 on my new puma watch one day before i started working LOL. i’m not going to teach tuition anymore. i want my weekends FREE! (except for driving la..)

MY WEEKEND IS FINALLY HERE! MY MINI HOLIDAY IS HERE!

the first step.

tomorrow i’m going to start work at some sports company, every day 9am-7pm except on weekends. sigh.. then after work my kiasu dad has arranged driving lessons for me from 8pm-10pm(but only on certain days). sigh. on weekends, i maybe giving tuition. quite sian.. but never mind, just do it. i just hope i’ll not mess up at work and i want to be efficient in the company lol. and mr loh asked me if i was interested in training waterpolo with the ccab girls(mon,wed,fri,sun if im not wrong). but it’s at 7.30pm, which means i’ve to rush down after work. a part of me still wants to play waterpolo. i was thinking of going but my parents don’t allow because they said i won’t be able to have the energy to work and train. which is true la but.. nvm.

when holding on and giving up are equally draining.

we’re camera shy.

crystal had a decision she needed to make, so she asked the intellectual me to go over to her house to contemplate with her and hopefully give her some advice. LOL. but instead, we watched horror and comedy movies and photowhored.

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that night when i was lying on bed, i suddenly thought of a lot of questions and it just hit me how short life actually is. i think as we grow up, we begin to realize how important it is to cherish the time with our family because time passes so damn fast(sometimes i feel cheated by time). sometimes our family may do things that we wish they hadn’t, do things that make us angry/disappointed/sad, but as a family, i think they trust that we’ll understand and forgive their mistakes and to deny them of that trust, i think it’s quite heartless.

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i sent out applications of myself.hopefully i get my job soon! i feel damn poor now and i HATE asking money from my parents. make me feel like some useless freeloader. lol but nvm, when i start earning ill give my parents money(but small amount only haha). i cannot make my sister seem more filial than me. LOLS.

have you ever felt that there are a million reasons to let go, but you find yourself holding on because of ONE reason.

ECP.stalk.talk.booze.nightmares.

our lame number 1-5 ah lian poses! LOL.

this was when we went to buy alcohol- long island and asashi. so we played finger guessing game and losers had to drink. i lost almost every single damn round. URGH. and the more i drank, the longer my reaction became so i kept losing when we played heart attack LOL. i felt so unhealthy after drinking cos i know alcohol is VERY bad for health, esp how it deteriorates the liver. (and weizhen i wasn’t drunk ok i was just high haha. )

finally a picture with weizhen yay!

late night supper!:)

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i saw. and for that moment, i really felt the ache in my heart.

they say its good to be scared, at least you have something to lose.

I took away my angsty post cos I felt I wasn’t being fair. At the end of the day, its the few close friends that matters most and not the 600+ friends i have on facebook. (haha i hope nobody’s offended) and… maybe i shouldn’t be so cynical. although the grass may always seem greener on the other side, peoples’ feelings may not waver. ( unless the other side is as hot as adam lambert lol.) but i still believe that everyone has a superficial side.

and then i said: maybe sometimes we should give less, so we receive lesser. and slowly we’ll have lesser expectations, and lesser disappointments.
okay. i take that back. i am sorry. maybe i was the demanding one, expecting too much.

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tomorrow is my 2nd driving experience! as far as i remember, my instructor’s only problem with me is that i am driving too fast. although i still think i am moving damn slowly. okay tomorrow i must remember to go slower.. and i still got 100pages of theory to study. omg. go peck yi!

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and i got hold on some old pics! although i think i look damn bad in them, with my ugly but yet lucky green hideous goggles lol. pls don’t ask why i opened my mouth until like that haha. (most of the pics were taken in bangkok and sports school i think)

wa my skin is damn dark compared to that hongkong girl LOL.

zhang jiao lian, me , rachel yeo and cheryl!

i look damn high. LOL.

SPY girls with coach Jaan!

aunty shirlee and me! (i look damn innocent cos this was in 2006…)

my fav girls! cheryl, adeline, rachel yeo, me and rachel goh!

and my glorious days! LOL. so sad now no more:(

okay this pic taken a few weeks ago.. shit man. i feel like i lost all my innocence:( and I hate to remind myself that I am 19. DOH.

#1.

And a new chapter of my life begins- the year 2010! Opening doors and opportunities, will it be a great memorable or lousy one? I’m looking forward to it, although i’ve to admit i’m a little apprehensive about it, especially with the release of A level results haha. Anyway, I felt I should devote some time to reflect about the year 2009. I think sometimes we really need to pause, rewind and look back once in a while, and spend time to restablish and strengthen ties with our old friends. It is a shame if we walk down 10-20 years down the road, barely remembering memories of our past and our friends. 

When i walk down nostalgia lane,  i want to remember every friendship i made, every outing i had, every training i died in, every competition i had!  And the thought of forgetting everything makes me want to cry. Maybe that is why when i spam photos, part of me wants to keep these good memories in some form forever! I don’t want these moments with my friends to fly by me to become stale memories. Leaving tjc has made me realize how fast time actually passes and sometimes we need to realize that we cannot go backward, only forward till the end; we should really learn to appreciate and treasure the moments in our life.

One thing i feel very blessed for is to be promoted along with 2408 because i can’t help feeling better going through all the mundane lectures and tutorials with people i’ve known since i came into tjc. i won’t forget people like claudia dyane dan dan ether shermaine ashma dasuki taufiq zucheng szejie weiting michelle(who always compliment me haha!) hans and daphne. although there were times i wished we could more bonded, but i still think we are one rocking class!:)

ZONGYAO:) thanks for helping me out with my school work throughout these 2 years and for simply being there when i needed someone. i’ll never forget our late night rubbish talks over the phone where i’ll just keep rambling on and on and you’ll just listen lol. i’m really grateful to have you as a friend and we must stay in contact! ( i miss your lame but surprisingly funny candid comments on almost everything! )

CHERYL:) i forgive you for annoying me all the time LOL. i’m kidding. but seriously, i will miss all our study dates and you! thank you for accompanying me through everything- from the emo crying to the high happy days! thank you for building these memories with me i love you!:)

and to my beloved swimming teammates who have now blossomed into indivudals with so much potential in leadership, team spirit and swimming. i remembered first meeting them during land training when they all looked so foreign and scary to me. plus there were so many of them compared to our 08 batch haha. and then the introduction began. and the next thing i realized was that my tutors were right about me- i’m socially shy. then, march camp came. that was when i got to know more of them better and i think i started opening up more:)

 

 

and finally school nats came. i remembered lijing and chelsia bought me a chocolate bar to wish me good luck for my first event. i don’t know why but it came in as a pleasant surprise somehow haha. i think the fact that they remembered i had an event when they are just as worried for THEIR OWN event just made me very happy (i don’t think i was that nice to my seniors haha! )
CHELSIA AND LIJING  thanks for all the motivation and encouraging smses throughout this whole year! if you two need any help in anything, just ask me okay? i may not be the best person around but i can try lol.

 

 

and having the team cheering you on during your race, i was really really happy ( even though my timing really sucked haha ). i think it was the first time i felt happy despite swimming so damn badly. it was then i came to realize how much the team actually meant to me. you guys made me so into a MUCH HAPPIER person and i feel very lucky! i feel that i’ve become a much better and stronger person merely from being part of the team! weihui ‘chiobu’, royce the shameless ‘handsome’ guy, zongyao, fun-loving neritta, ziheng, renee curry pok, sweet lijing who makes me feel like i’m an awesome senior LOL, crazy chelsia, rachel jinyi ping clarisse karon lynn and so many more. love you guys so much:) don’t forget me hor haha!

ROYCE:) thanks for giving me so many advices and giving me a kick  now and then to let me have a taste of REALITY. you may not know this but you really cheer me up with your sarcastic comments although they are SO DAMN MEAN sometimes haha. and for comforting me whenever i face friendship or whatever problems!:)

WEIHUI:) i don’t think things would have been the same without you. i’m so glad we got closer in 2009 because it would have been my loss if we didn’t have this friendship. thank you for being so accomodating and for encouraging me when i got really depressed after prelims. Even though you were busy with your own stuff, you never fail to poke me and show your concern as a friend. i love you girl !:)

NERITTA:) okay i know you’ll never read this but i still want to thank you for being so happy and bubbly around me even though sometimes i know you’ve your own problems and troubles inside, and you just don’t want to show it because you’re afraid that it will affect me. and i think i should really learn from you because i tend to act according to my feelings. i’m a very selfish friend and sometimes i feel it’s very unfair to you.:( anyway, keep making the people around happy because i know you’re the only one that is capable of doing so!

AND OF COURSE I DIDNT FORGET MY FEW CONSTANTS IN KC:) crystal weizhen victoria cheryl alicia rachael priscilla i love you guys and you know it! i don’t have to worry that we won’t stay in contact because somehow we always do haha!

CRYSTAL:) I think you’re one of my friends who know me best. i’ll always remember the day when i was very sad because i didn’t manage to get into _____, and the very next day you drew me this special rainbow award. although i didn’t have much reaction, i was really really touched deep down. i appreciate all the things you do for me, like buying winnie pooh stickers for me whenever you see them outside because you know i like them, or finding ways and means to cheer me up whenever i am emo or moody (i’m sorry!) , or bringing me notes because i always lose mine, or printing out this and that for me and so many other things. thank you so so much and I feel SO DAMN FORTUNATE to have you as my friend.:)

WEIZHEN:) i think you’re one of the most caring and sincere friend i have ever met. thankyou for making math tuition lessons so much more memorable and fun and for being so patient when teaching me those math questions haha. i promise to disturb you lesser this year okay!:)
-i think we should take a picture together soon-

VICTORIA:) thank you for being such a nice friend and ALWAYS giving me all the encouragement and providing me with a listening ear on msn/airport. you’re one person i know i can always count on. and somehow you always put on a smiling face even though I know deep down you’re feeling sad over *some missing text*, and you make people around you feel so comfortable with your laughter and mean jokes haha! (like the perpetual ribome in changi airport ) AND I WANT TO TELL YOU: please cheer up okay everytime i read your blog and see you getting so upset over *some missing text*, i feel sad as well. keeping smiling girl. we are all always here for you I LOVE YOU ALOT.:)

MY DEAR SPY! (SAMM PECK YAN) in order from the oldest to youngest!:)

Anyway, 2009 has been quite a fantastic but tough year with all the rollercoaster emotions and exam results haha. so many times i felt like giving up, but i’m glad i managed to at least pull through everything! i think i really have to thank my tutors for giving me a nudge now and then to show their concern, for not giving up on me, for helping me out as much as they could and i never dreamt i would say this but also for picking me to answer questions in class haha! and i’m happy i brought home many new realizations. But of course, I wouldn’t call it a perfect year! I think there are some regrets that I’ve to pen down so that i won’t forget in 2010!

1. Procrasination.
I need to realize that I should never have delayed so many things. I believe that if I didn’t procrasinate so much, I would have achieved SO MUCH FRIGGING MORE, experienced so much more and be a much more successful person. Life gives us all the opportunities and time, but we sometimes need to learn how to seize them and make them ours. we should take charge of our own life because at the end of the day, the outcome of things always lies in our hands!

2. lousy priortizing- and not catching up with old friends.
Because of my bad time management, i think i’ve neglected many of my old friends. my ex-ssc swimmers especially. i’m sorry for always being so busy and not turning up for outings! sometimes we’re so caught up with our busy life at the moment, we tend to put aside alot of things like old friendships which i’ve come to realize how important they are. i don’t even remember when some pictures were taken- and this isn’t a good indication! i don’t want to forget the 10years of childhood days we spent together! and even my tj PAE friends like yingiet and zhising and vionna. i feel like A -BEEP- BAD FRIEND OMG.

3. not saying/doing something because i was afraid, and knowing i’ll regret later on.
We’re all afraid of being rejected and be placed in an awkward position but sometimes i think it doesn’t really matter if you think about it. Something that I remembered from graduation is that a single word or effort you put in makes a whole lot of difference. 99 degree celsius = liquid. but 100degree= steam. we’re all scared of failing, and we sometimes don’t want to try because we’re afraid that the outcome would be failure. but without trying, i think it in itself is already a failure. and people will not respect you for that.

4. time passes faster than you can imagine.
it is important to treasure the moments in our life. even if we feel that life is unfair,  instead of complaining and wallow in despair, why not we make the best of things? all the time we spent complaining about how stressed up we’re with our school work, our many training sessions, why not enjoy the moment because i’m sure 10-20years down the road, we wouldn’t mind continuing all these with our dear friends:) i’m guilty of this. and now i really regret for all the times i didn’t FULLY appreciate the things and people that was brought into my life.

 

2010 will definitely be a much different year. leaving tjc and being a FULLY retired swimmer. swimming has always been one of the constants in my life but i think it’s going to change soon:)
so here are my resolutions:

1. PUT IN 100% IN EVERYTHING, ESP MY STUDIES.
2. be more open-minded.
3. manage my time better. MUCH BETTER.
4. be more mature.
5. BE DISCIPLINED.
6. set more goals.
7. appreciate and treasure the people around me.
8. get a job and hopefully not ask for any allowance from my parents.

HAPPY 2010:)

:)

i passed my basic theory for driving today! one step closer!

HAHA.

HELLO I’M GOH PECK YI! and if you change the first letter of my name to an ‘S’ , you get…

SOH SECK SI!